Category: blog

How To Stop Feeling Guilty?

Guilt is an unsettling emotion that we all have experienced at some point in our lives. It is a feeling of remorse, regret, or self-reproach that arises when we believe we have done something wrong. Or else – that we have failed to do something we should have done.

 

Guilt can indeed serve as a valuable motivator to rethink our behavior and make amends. Anyway, excessive or prolonged guilt can be damaging to our mental health and overall well-being.

 

In the paragraphs below, we will look deeper into the nature of guilt and its unfavorable effects, as well as examine some real-life tips to overcome toxic guilt and move on.

 

Understanding Guilt: What Is It, and Why Do We Experience It?

 

Guilt is a complicated emotion that can emerge from different situations and circumstances. It is often associated with morality and ethical behavior and is experienced when we believe we have violated an important principle.

 

Put simply – it’s the subjective feeling that we’ve deviated from our moral compass. Yet, this doesn’t necessarily need to be the objective truth about the situation.

 

Guilt can be triggered by a wide range of behaviors or actions, such as lying, cheating, stealing, breaking promises, or hurting others. In these cases, we have an objectively true belief that we’ve messed up.

 

Anyway, guilt can also be coupled with feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, or shame. In these cases, we might find ourselves struggling with remorse that we did not deserve in any way.

 

Types of Guilt and Why Do You Feel It

 

As we already hinted above, guilt can take many different forms, depending on the circumstances and individual backgrounds. However, some of the most common types of guilt are, but are not limited to, the following:

 

  • Natural guilt emerges when we have broken our personal moral code or values. It is a healthy form of regret that can encourage us to reevaluate our behavior and make amends.
  • Collective guilt occurs when we belong to a group or community that has done something wrong or harmful to others. It is frequently associated with historical events or social injustices.
  • Chronic guilt is a persistent feeling of remorse or self-blame that can be more challenging to overcome. It may be linked to childhood experiences, trauma, or a deep-seated belief that one is fundamentally flawed or unworthy.
  • Survivor guilt is experienced by those who have survived a traumatic event or tragedy while others have not. It can be associated with feelings of culpability, shame, or responsibility for the suffering of others.
  • Reactive guilt is activated by external factors, such as the disapproval or criticism of others. It may be related to additional factors, such as a need for validation or a fear of rejection.
  • Existential guilt is related to broader philosophical or existential concerns, such as the purpose of life, the essence of existence, or the inevitableness of death.
  • Maladaptive guilt has to do with events you had no control over. It is excessive and irrational and may be correlated to anxiety, depression, or other underlying mental health conditions.
  • Parent guilt is experienced by parents who feel they have failed as caregivers or providers for their children. It often goes hand in hand with postpartum depression and affects both mothers and fathers.

Recognizing the type of guilt you’re feeling and its roots is key to building your strategy for overcoming it – especially if it’s a toxic guilt that damages your long-term well-being.

 

negative effects of guilt

The Negative Effects of Guilt: How Does It Impact Your Mental Health

 

Feeling guilty after you’ve cheated is a rather normal emotional reaction, and it will persist until you sort the circumstances out with your partner. However, feeling guilty about it forever and projecting your guilt in every following relationship becomes borderline toxic and self-sabotaging behavior.

 

Chronic guilt can lead to anxiety, depressive moods, and damaged self-esteem. It can also give rise to multiple physical manifestations, such as headaches, digestive problems, and sleep disturbances.

 

This kind of guilt can also be a significant obstacle to personal growth and development. It can hold you back from taking risks, stop you from trying new things or make you unconfident about chasing your dreams.

 

8 Tips For Overcoming Toxic Guilt and Growing Out of Your Guilt Complex

If you find that guilt negatively impacts your life, several strategies can help you overcome these feelings and move on.

#1 Identify the Source of Guilt

First and foremost, you’ll need to recognize the root cause of guilt and work through it. It could stem from a variety of sources, such as a specific event, a relationship, or a personal belief system. Next, take time to reflect on what triggered the feelings of guilt and what underlying beliefs or values may be contributing to these feelings.

Working through guilt may involve journaling, talking to a trusted friend or family member, or seeking therapy. Through these activities, you can analyze the core rationale behind guilt and form a deeper understanding of why it’s affecting you.

#2 Practice Self-Compassion

Embracing self-kindness and relinquishing past mistakes is a potent mechanism for growing out of your feelings of guilt. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness, consideration, and support you would show to a close friend.

Some ways to practice self-compassion include positive self-talk, focusing on your strengths and accomplishments, and indulging in pursuits that gratify and complete you. At the end of the day, self-forgiveness and acceptance are worth more than a thousand praises by someone else.

#3 Accept The Fact That Perfection Doesn’t Exist

Many of us struggle with guilt because of the unconquerable heights of perfection we set for ourselves. However, it’s crucial to remember that perfection is an unrealistic and unattainable goal and that it’s exactly mistakes and flaws that make us human.

By accepting perfection is neither natural nor healthy, you can renounce the guilt of falling short of unrealistic expectations. Instead, focus on progress and growth, and celebrate every tiny step along the way.

#4 Learn to Forgive Yourself and Others

Moving on from guilt always begins with forgiveness. This includes both forgiving ourselves for past mistakes and forgiving others who may have contributed to our regrets. This is usually easier said than done, especially if toxic feelings of guilt arise from childhood trauma or abuse.

It’s not easy to let go of anger, resentment, and blame. The process can involve practicing empathy and compassion towards ourselves and others and focusing on positive experiences and memories instead of dwelling on the negative.

Sometimes, though, long-term therapy is the healthiest way to overcome thought patterns rooted in traumatic experiences and learned behaviors.

a note that says forgive

#5 Communicate and Apologize

If feelings of guilt stem from hurting others, it’s important to take responsibility for our actions and apologize. This means voicing your remorses, taking steps to make amends, and committing to positive change to move forward.

Communication is vital in this process, as it allows us to understand the impact of our actions better and work towards rebuilding damaged relationships.

#6 Reframe Your Perspective

Negative self-talk can add to feelings of guilt and hold you back from a healthy healing process. Challenging these negative thoughts and reframing your perspective toward guilt is a long process – and it will be a crucial part of your journey.

This process will be all about recognizing the difference between healthy guilt and toxic guilt, altering your beliefs around guilt and responsibility, and focusing on the positive steps you can take to redeem yourself.

#7 Set Healthy Boundaries

Learning to say no and prioritize our own needs is another step in the right direction if you’re struggling with toxic guilt. It involves the healthy level of egoism needed to say no to requests or activities that contribute to guilt or stress.

By setting boundaries, you can better manage your time and energy, reduce feeling overwhelmed, and avoid over-committing. This is a critical step for people struggling with parent guilt who usually set the bar too high and tend to ignore their own needs for their children as a rule.

#8 Use Mindfulness and Meditation Practices

Mindfulness and meditation allow you to be present in the moment and cultivate a non-judgmental awareness of your thoughts and emotions. They nurture a sense of understanding and acceptance that can help you to let go of unhealthy feelings of guilt.

One effective mindfulness practice for dealing with guilt is simply sitting quietly and focusing on your breath. As you inhale and exhale, notice any thoughts or emotions that arise and observe them without judgment. Try to maintain a sense of curiosity and openness without getting caught up in self-criticism or rumination.

Other mindfulness practices that can help with guilt include body scanning, loving-kindness meditation, and visualization exercises.

 

When To Consider Therapy or Counseling

 

Although guilt is a natural human emotion, it can morph into an obstacle or even a source of severe disturbance in your everyday life. Nevertheless, if you’re grappling with guilt that disrupts your day-to-day activities and causes distress, it might be time to mull over seeking professional help.

 

Therapy and counseling can be an effective way to work through feelings of guilt by providing a safe and supportive space to explore your emotions and behaviors. In addition, a mental health expert can help you discern the underlying factors that fuel your guilt, develop self-compassion and self-awareness, and equip you with strategies to manage harmful thought patterns that exacerbate your guilt.

 

In addition, you can use a variety of free and subscription-based apps for mental health to help you work through toxic guilt. They will allow you to evaluate your well-being and track your improvement on the go, thus adding a valuable asset to your personal well-being journey.
 
RelaxifyApp Mental health puzzle

How to Stop Self-Sabotaging: Your Full Guide

Do you often feel like you’re getting in your own way? Do you find yourself engaging in self-sabotaging behavior without really understanding why? Well, you’re far from alone in this.

Self-sabotage is a common issue that affects many people, and it can have adverse consequences on both personal and professional life. It creates concerns in daily life and hampers long-standing goals, ultimately eating away at your potential.

Fortunately, there are ways to overcome self-sabotage, and we’re about to discuss them in the paragraphs below.

 

Self-sabotaging – Meaning In Theory and Practice

 

As per definition, self-sabotage is a harmful pattern of behavior whereby one deliberately undermines their own aspirations, objectives, and roads to success.

In real life, self-sabotage is the strange feeling that you always do something that takes you further away from where you want to be instead of helping you get there.

Some typical examples of self-sabotage include procrastination, self-doubt, and self-destructive behaviors such as addiction or overeating. This can happen consciously or not, so self-sabotage is oftentimes subtle and hard to identify.

The underlying triggers of self-sabotaging can be different and are oftentimes rather complicated. While false beliefs or fears are a highly probable explanation, there is still a world of possibilities to investigate.

 

What Causes Self-Sabotaging Behavior?

 

Self-sabotaging behavior can be induced by a combination of factors.

A study from BMC Psychology notes that the self-sabotaging relationship factors include defensiveness, trust difficulty, and lack of relationship skills. In addition, fear of failure, low self-esteem, perfectionism, or past trauma can make things even worse when it comes to letting yourself live the life you deserve.

So, let’s dig a bit deeper into the potential reasons why you might be preventing yourself from being happy.

 

#1 Fear of Failure

Why is fear of failure one of the most common reasons for self-sabotage? The answer is pretty simple – you will avoid taking risks or trying new things when you’re scared of making mistakes. You might also become defensive and self-restrictive to safeguard yourself from potential failure.

Unfortunately, this is how you also deprive yourself of the probability of success, you know?

#2 Negative Self-Talk

Do you ever find your inner dialogue to be meaner than normal? Well, saying negative things to yourself is another facet that demonstrates self-sabotage. For example, when you repeatedly tell yourself you’re not good enough, you will probably start believing your statements.

Then, fortunately or not, what you believe often materializes and proves you right – even when you’re initially not.

 

#3 Perfectionism

 

Are you in for the never-ending challenge? The bad news is that unhealthy perfectionism and high-functioning anxiety are another deal-breaker in your well-being journey. As you develop unrealistic standards for yourself, you get further and further away from the realistic perspective of ever feeling good about yourself.

Then, when you inevitably fail to meet those standards, you may use self-sabotaging to avoid facing your own perceived failure.

 

#4 Lack of Self-Awareness

 

When you don’t understand your own strengths and weaknesses, you may self-sabotage without realizing it. This is often the case in people with poor self-esteem who tend to overthink and blame themselves for no reason.

In that case, analyzing your inner resources will be the first step to improving your overall well-being. Subsequently, bolstering your resilience and grit in alignment with your unique cognitive profile is key to tearing down the walls you build for yourself.

 

And Others

 

Some other potential reasons for developing a self-hindering way of thinking and acting might be, for example:

  • Lack of motivation;
  • Poor coping mechanisms;
  • Learned behavior;
  • Imposter syndrome, etc.

 

All in all, the roots of self-sabotage can reach pretty deep, and its stems can grow pretty wide. In order to build your strategy for overcoming the consequences, you always need to look for the reason first – and the deeper you stare, the clearer you’ll see.

 

i can

How Does Self-Sabotage Affect Personal and Professional Life

 

Self-sabotage can undoubtedly damage both your private and professional dynamics.

  • In your personal life, self-sabotage can have a detrimental impact on the intimate relationships you cherish and the deep connections you have with loved ones. It can evoke an overwhelming sense of emotional isolation and deepen communication barriers, thus damaging your ability to build and maintain meaningful bonds.
  • When it comes to your career, self-sabotage can also stop you from unveiling your potential. Procrastinating or restraining yourself with self-doubt will generate a long list of missed opportunities, along with an overall poor job performance.

 

The feelings of dissatisfaction or burnout will quickly follow, thus worsening the situation.

 

How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself: 10 Strategies to Try

 

If you’ve already discovered that nothing’s standing in your way to satisfaction except your own self, it’s time to take action.

 

#1 Identify Triggers and Patterns

 

First and foremost, you need to pay attention. When do you engage in self-sabotaging behavior, and what triggers it? The answers might surprise you.

Let’s say that you struggle with low self-esteem and frequently compare yourself to others. You notice that you feel inferior and doubt your abilities whenever you see someone else’s accomplishments or successes. This triggers a self-sabotaging behavior of procrastination – you avoid taking action because you don’t believe you can achieve your goals.

After identifying that pattern, you can start practicing positive self-talk and remind yourself of your own accomplishments and strengths.

 

#2 Challenge Negative Self-Talk

 

What about replacing “I can’t do this” with “This looks like a hell of a challenge, but I can handle it”?

That’s right – negative self-talk is a noteworthy benefactor to self-sabotage. However, you can try to root out these toxic affirmations and substitute them with more upbeat and pragmatic ones.

All you need to do is take the first step and watch your world change.

 

#3 Practice Self-Compassion

 

Treating yourself with kindness and understanding is essential if you’re looking for ways to boost your well-being. To do so, practice self-compassion and treat yourself like you would treat that best friend you always give a shoulder to.

Or else said – be considerate and forgiving when you make mistakes, and focus on your strengths and inner resources instead of blaming yourself for not being perfect. Once you think about it, nobody is.

 

#4 Set Realistic Goals

 

Setting too high or unrealistic goals can lead to feelings of failure and self-doubt. Instead, set achievable goals and break them down into smaller, manageable steps.

Let’s say that you want to get in better shape, so you decide to set a goal of running a marathon within a few months. However, you’ve never run more than a mile before and hardly have time to train. So, logically, you become discouraged and question your capacity to reach the goal.

In this case, setting an unrealistic goal has led to self-sabotaging behavior and negative feelings. So, instead of running a marathon within a few months, you could set a goal of running a kilometer within a few weeks. This more realistic and attainable goal allows you to build confidence and gain momentum.

 

marking the word confidence in a book

#5 Develop Positive Coping Mechanisms

 

In lieu of resorting to unhealthy behaviors to cope with stress or challenging emotions, it’s critical to cultivate positive coping mechanisms. For example, consider practices such as exercise, meditation, journaling, or confiding in a trusted friend or therapist to aid in your journey.

Remember that the path to healthy coping with stress and eradicating negative behaviors is unique to each individual. It requires utilizing resources and tools that resonate with your values and brings a sense of fulfillment and comfort in your own skin.

 

#6 Prioritize Self-Care

 

Taking proper care of yourself is indispensable for preventing self-sabotage. To start improving, guarantee that you get sufficient sleep, make healthy dietary choices, and allocate some of your time to engage in activities that actually bring you pleasure.

Placing self-care at the forefront of your priorities may bring a sense of wellness and fortitude, thereby preventing exhaustion and despair. Last but certainly not least – treating yourself with kindness is the literal opposite of self-sabotage. However challenging it might feel initially, you need to start at some point and let the delight grow as you proceed.

 

#7 Address Underlying Conditions

 

Should you find yourself persistently trapped in a cycle of self-sabotage, it may be worth investigating the deeper reasons driving such behavior. These factors may include afflictions such as anxiety, depression, or lingering traumas you may not have fully confronted.

Fear not, however, for seeking out the guidance of a trained therapist or mental health expert can provide you with the tools to unpack and manage such discouraging hurdles. With their professional insights, you can begin to forge a path toward restorative healing and designing coping strategies that will fortify your mind and soul for the long haul.

 

#8 Seek Professional Help

 

If you are grappling with self-sabotage and struggling to make constructive changes, it is always advisable to pursue the professional assistance of a certified therapist.

They can supply an abundance of prop and direction and aid you in materializing affirmative changes. Moreover, they will impart the insight necessary to release yourself from those destructive aspects of your past that have hindered your growth.

 

#9 Celebrate Successes

 

Accomplishments, no matter how minor, ought to be rejoiced. This will augment your self-assurance, ingrain confidence in your abilities, and prevent you from doing unintended emotional damage to yourself.

So, dedicate a little moment to recognize your wins and pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

 

black woman feeling empowered

Is It Time To Feel Better?

 

In today’s technology-driven world, there’s a lot you can do against self-sabotaging, beginning right now. Besides a healthy support circle and professional therapy, there are ways to start your journey with your own little steps to get the wheel spinning in the right direction.

In that line of thought, mental health applications can be a powerful and user-friendly tool in combating self-defeating behaviors. These apps offer customized self-care and well-being programs, allowing users to track their progress and receive personalized support.

With features like mood tracking, meditation, and cognitive behavioral therapy exercises, mental health apps can be valuable in combating negative thought patterns that impede personal growth.

Remember, addressing self-sabotage is a journey that takes time and effort to overcome. But with the right tools and support, you can break free from your own restraints and start living your dreams.

 

So take the first step today and enjoy!

What is Trauma Dumping, and How To Deal With It?

Trauma dumping refers to the act of excessively sharing or venting about traumatic events or experiences, often in a repetitive and uncontrolled manner.

 

On the side of the trauma dumper, this is a form of continually reliving the traumatic experience, compulsively talking about it, or even posting about it on social media.

 

This type of emotionally problematic behavior is not limited to just physical trauma; it can also refer to emotional and psychological trauma.

 

The core purpose of trauma dumping is to release the overwhelming emotions associated with a traumatic experience. Still, it often has the opposite effect, leaving the person feeling even more overwhelmed and distressed.

 

In the paragraphs below, we will explore what trauma dumping actually is, the differences between sharing and venting, the signs of trauma dumping, its effects, and how to deal with it.

 

Examples of Trauma Dumping

 

Understanding what trauma dumping is is essential to recognize this pattern of behavior in yourself and others. Still, it might be challenging to judge the situation objectively, especially if you happen to be the one to trauma dump.

 

So, before you engage in healthy coping strategies, such as self-care and boundary-setting, let’s first clear out the most common trauma dumping examples.

 

These might include but are not limited to:

 

  • Continuously talking about a traumatic event or experience with literally anyone who will listen, regardless of whether they want to hear it or not.
  • Posting frequent updates or accounts of a traumatic event on social media, often supplemented with passive aggression, bitterness, and resentment.
  • Reliving the traumatic experience through repetitive thoughts, dreams, or flashbacks that you discuss whenever you have the chance to.
  • Engaging in compulsive or self-destructive behaviors as a way of coping with the trauma. These might outreach oversharing and grow into subconsciously putting yourself in situations similar to the traumatic one.
  • Ignoring the needs and boundaries of others and only focusing on the need to talk about the traumatic occurrence that you’ve experienced.
  • Refusing to seek professional help to overcome the traumatic experience and instead relying solely on others for emotional support.

 

While it may feel cathartic at the moment, trauma dumping can actually worsen the emotional distress associated with a traumatic experience and lead to negative consequences, such as poor social relationships and increased levels of stress.

 

a man sad at home

Sharing vs. Venting vs. Trauma Dumping – What’s the Difference?

 

It’s important to note that sharing is a healthy and totally appropriate way of processing trauma. It involves talking to someone you trust, who is supportive and empathetic, about the things that bother you emotionally. Sharing can be therapeutic and can help to alleviate some of the emotional stress you’ve been going through.

 

Venting, on the other hand, is quite similar to sharing. Still, it often lacks the emotional openness and vulnerability present in sharing. Venting is typically more focused on releasing pent-up frustration and anger than processing the traumatic experience. While venting can be emotionally relieving in the short term, it can also perpetuate negative emotions and increase feelings of stress and anxiety.

 

Finally, trauma dumping is way more excessive and uncontrolled than healthy venting. It involves constantly reliving and talking about the traumatic experience in an attempt to relieve the overwhelming emotions associated with it. Meanwhile, you never listen to what the other person has to say, and you only focus on yourself and your struggle. As a result, you are unwilling to accept a solution because a solution is not actually what you’re looking for.

 

Moreover, unlike sharing, trauma dumping often ignores the boundaries and needs of others, thus leading to broken interpersonal connections and even deeper emotional despair.

 

15 Signs That You Might Be Trauma Dumping

 

Although easy to spot when you’re the listener, trauma dumping is extremely difficult to analyze if you’re the main character. Similar to other communicational patterns, trauma dumping requires a step back to analyze your behavior and recognize that something’s not exactly right.

 

So, here are fifteen signs to look for when you question yourself and your current situation:

  1. You find yourself continuously talking about your struggle, even outside your closest circle of family, friends, and relatives.
  2. When talking about what bothers you, you struggle to manage your thoughts and emotions.
  3. You ignore the boundaries and needs of others, only focusing on your need to take things off your chest immediately.
  4. You feel like no one understands or empathizes with you, even though you have talked to many people about your hardships.
  5. You feel overwhelmed and distressed, even (and especially) after talking about the traumatic experience.
  6. You often talk about your traumatic experiences to people who don’t currently have the emotional capacity to support you.
  7. You regularly share graphic or triggering details about your trauma with others in order to feel validated or heard.
  8. You struggle to control the urge to talk about your trauma, even when you understand that it’s not appropriate.
  9. You experience intense emotional distress, such as anxiety or depression, during and after discussing your concerns.
  10. You feel a sense of urgency to share your trauma as soon as you experience a trigger.
  11. You have trouble focusing on daily tasks, work, or school due to constant thoughts about your inner battle.
  12. You find yourself losing touch with reality and becoming disconnected from the present moment.
  13. You feel a lack of control over your thoughts and emotions, especially regarding the traumatic experience.
  14. You experience physical symptoms, such as headaches, fatigue, or digestive problems, resulting from reliving the traumatic experience.
  15. You need to control the conversation and dominate the emotional space when sharing your trauma.

Suppose you find yourself somewhere between these lines. In that case, you might be actually dealing with trauma dumping – meaning it’s time to reevaluate your strategy and begin healing instead of dragging people down the spiral you’re currently stuck into.

 

girl leaning infront of a window

Consequences of Trauma Dumping and Oversharing

 

Trauma dumping can have several negative effects, both on the person experiencing the trauma and those around them. Some of the undesired outcomes of trauma dumping and oversharing might include the following:

 

  • Damaged relationships. Disproportionate sharing can weaken relationships, as it may overlook the boundaries and emotional needs of others.
  • Re-traumatization. Trauma dumping can actually exacerbate the emotional anguish associated with a traumatic experience, as it can perpetuate negative thoughts and emotions.
  • Impaired functioning. Trauma dumping can interfere with daily functioning and negatively impact work, school, or personal relationships. It robs your everyday life of delight and replaces it with gloomy thoughts and loneliness.

Finally, replacing all meaningful communication with constant venting can easily slip you into a classic depression episode. So – once you have the emotional intelligence to admit the problem and the courage to resolve it, it’s time to act.

 

How to Deal with Trauma Dumping

 

If you’ve come to ask yourself how to stop trauma dumping, you’re halfway there! Recognizing the patterns is always crucial, and taking steps to resolve them comes easier when you clearly understand the potential consequences.

 

So, if you find yourself engaging in trauma dumping, there are steps you can take to manage your emotions and avoid its unfavorable effects:

 

  • Seek professional help. Professional therapy can be a crucial part of the healing process, as a therapist can help you work through the trauma in a safe and controlled environment.
  • Practice self-care. Engaging in self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or hobbies can help reduce stress and promote emotional well-being.
  • Try to control your sharing habits. It is essential to be mindful of the amount and nature of the things you share and to limit them to those who are supportive and empathetic.
  • Focus on positive experiences. Instead of constantly reliving your pains and disappointments, try to focus on positive experiences and memories.
  • Practice empathy and boundary-setting. It is important to be mindful of the needs and boundaries of others and to engage in empathetic and respectful communication.
  • Take some time for self-reflection. Then, you can engage in a personalized well-being journey, play mind games, or use a mental health app to monitor your progress.
  • Do not close off completely. It’s not about never sharing anything again – it’s about restoring the balance within yourself and – consequently – in your relationships with others.

 

The good news? With the proper support and coping strategies, it is possible to heal from traumatic experiences and move forward in a healthy and fulfilling way – with your favorite people sharing and enjoying your mutual journey.

Tips To Improve Communication In Relationships

Fruitful, effective, and honest communication in relationships is something a lot of people tend to struggle with.

 

Both establishing and maintaining a meaningful connection can be challenging enough to achieve. Sometimes we expect people to read our minds, and sometimes we spare the truth in order to keep the peace. But peace is a fragile thing to keep if your mind remains unspoken and your feelings – misunderstood.

 

Then again, even if established, communication needs to be nourished and sustained in time. Unfortunately, once the contact is broken, both parties in the relationship will start to argue and hurt each other’s feelings.

 

The good news is that connecting is something that can be developed and taught with the right strategy. Though not always easy, it is always worth it, as good communication lets you strengthen the bond within the relationship and resolve conflicts better.

 

So, how to achieve this? We have some tips for you in the paragraphs below.

 

What Are the Types of Communication In a Relationship?

 

Communication generally divides between active listening and nonverbal communication.

 

Active listening brings the idea of communicating like a two-way street. For active listening to work, you have to actually listen to your partner and understand their words, thoughts, intents, and internal processes that bind together like e knot.

 

On the other hand, nonverbal communication is often referred to as body language and tone of voice. For example, a simple facial expression can send various signals to your partner, and it can also tell you a lot of what they are not actually putting into words.

 

Without these two vital communicational pillars, the relationship will struggle, thus creating more issues over time.

 

Down below, we have some tips for strengthening your communication in relationships.

 

Make a Connection

 

People tend to understand that communication is mostly about talking. However, communication in relationships also involves using written, verbal, and physical skills to cater to your partner’s needs.

 

Small talk is not communication. The most important thing is understanding your partner’s side and offering support wherever needed.

 

Sometimes healthy communication in relationships can involve you making efforts while your partner is lucrative. Remember that a relationship is a place for giving and not so much taking. Talk with your partner and admit the problems you’re experiencing. Create a starting point and focus on mending that passion and connection you had initially.

 

2 partners holding hands with couple tattoo

Recognize and Improve Communication Styles

 

Another way to make communication better is to identify communication styles in relationships.

 

There are four types of communication styles, and these are passive, aggressive, assertive, and passive-aggressive.

 

  • Passive communication is about keeping emotions locked away at all times. Such communicators usually have a hard time in relationships, as their inner realm remains a mystery to their partners.
  • Aggressive communication tends to be really intense, and such communicators also have issues when it comes to real connections due to excess emotions and poor soft skills.
  • Passive-aggressive people tend to substitute conflict with sarcasm and avoid honest conversations. Unfortunately, a delayed conflict is not a resolved conflict, and this type of escapism often comes around like a boomerang.
  • Assertive communication is the best type of relationship communication. This interpersonal and emotional contact is about being in touch with your feelings and knowing how to communicate them freely and transparently.

When you try to identify your communication styles, be more aware of what your partner is better responding to and what they are saying in a conversation.

Once you’re on the same page, you’ll be enjoying a quality connection that reaches deep enough and lasts long enough to call it love.

Mind The Six Human Needs

The concept of fundamental human needs was initially conceived by Sigmund Freud. Throughout the history of psychology, many scientists embraced the idea until it was finally pulled together by the American psychologist Abraham Maslow.

 

According to that theory, every human being has six basic needs, which, related to relationships, are as follows:

 

  • The need for certainty makes us ask ourselves if we have comfort and safety in the current relationship.
  • The need for variety requires healthy challenges to let the relationship flourish and grow. Simply finding how to keep things exciting with your partner is enough to tick this out.
  • The need for significance makes you want to feel important and unique. Note that your partner needs to know they are needed and vice versa.
  • The need for love is absolutely crucial for relationships. Everyone likes to feel loved and understood, and ineffective communication can break that. Be present with your feelings, and don’t say “I love you” s without meaning it just to end a conflict.
  • The need for growth is equally important since long-term relationships might sometimes feel stale. Humans need development, whether it’s intellectual, emotional, or spiritual.
  • The need to give is all about what you offer in a relationship and how you can do it better.

Relationships are a shared journey, so consider your partner’s needs and yours with equal amounts of dedication.

splitting a love puzzle

Do Not Avoid Conflict

Another tip when it comes to good communication is never to avoid conflict and never to leave things unspoken. Once you begin stuffing things and situations into your emotional closet, they will pile up and eventually break out as a deal-breaker.

 

OF course, when a conflict arises, things are far from roses and butterflies. Still, refusing to talk situations out will rarely bring you the precious comfort you’re looking for. Instead, use emotional intelligence and affection in order to use every argument as a means to deepen and strengthen your relationship.

Be Honest, Be Present, and Break Patterns

 

Many people wonder why is communication important in relationships. Also, what is the key to successful communication?

 

Well, sometimes simplicity is genius. It’s all about being open, being honest, setting boundaries, and staying present.

 

Being open and honest, plus setting boundaries, are the best remedies to a lack of communication in a relationship. It would be best if you came clean whenever something was bothering you without sweeping issues under the rug.

 

Let’s say that you notice a pattern of arguing over lots of food getting expired. Sit down and discuss the practice of buying as much food as you will eat. This way, this boundary is set, and the arguments will diminish.

 

A way to break the negative pattern is to understand when you are using a higher-pitched voice or tone irritating that other partner. Then, if you can, you can go forward with a sense of humor to lighten up the arguments when it gets too much.

 

All of this will lead to breaking the negative patterns which can stem from learned behaviors from parents and siblings.

 

At the end of the day, meaningful relationships are a safe space where both partners grow, get better, accept one another, and fight their insecurities together. And this process only begins when two people tear down all walls and stay open, sincere, and loving, despite all difficulties along the way.

How To Deal With Loneliness

Loneliness can come uninvited and stay a while, regardless of your age, gender, social status, and cultural background. It can stem from past traumatic events or ongoing circumstances and can extend to different periods of one’s life.

 

Feeling lonely doesn’t necessarily mean being alone. On the contrary – this is a feeling that you grow inside, sometimes regardless of how socially active or fulfilled you are. It’s a draining state of mind that constantly feeds off our daily emotions and makes us feel tired, unhappy, and unmotivated to deal with life.

 

So, what’s the difference between general loneliness and loneliness caused because of a breakup? How to heal and come back from it? We gathered some tips and tricks on how to deal with loneliness in the paragraphs below.

 

Practical Ways of Dealing with Loneliness

 

The first step in the quest of how to deal with loneliness is to recognize, acknowledge, and respect your own feelings.

 

So – focus on how you feel and try to analyze where that sentiment stems from. If you can, talk to a therapist, and they can help you plan steps toward how to combat loneliness. Therapy can introduce coping skills that you can tailor to your case, so you’ll have a long-term well-being strategy instead of a fast and short-term solution.

 

Other things you can do to help yourself out of the situation include:

 

  • Talk to your family and friends and let them know about your struggles. If you’ve lost a loved one or your job, if you’re moving to a new place, or if you’re going through a lot of stress, let your close ones know. They can help you the right way as long as you don’t intentionally alienate yourself.
  • Monitor your online presence as much as possible. Unfortunately, as much as the online world connects us through social media and dating sites, they sometimes isolate us. Sometimes, social media portrays a fake life that some individuals are living, which can lead to depression and even more loneliness. If being online feels like a burden, it’s time to log off. Instead, go for some real-life communication – be it within your closest circle or with new people.
  • Look for ways to address loneliness before it evolves into isolation and depression. Many workplaces offer an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) which gives you access to therapy confidentially. You can also opt-in for a free trial of a science-based well-being app and give it a chance.
  • Attend thematic events related to the things you love. It can be a yoga class, a book club, or a quiz night out. Thus you’ll combine things that feel good with social interaction and connection based on interests and passions.

Finally – don’t deny or try to renounce how you feel. Loneliness is best battled not through an escape but through acceptance and gradual change.

 

lonely at the beach

Joining Clubs, Volunteering, and Self Care

 

As one of the most beautiful quotes for loneliness by Michel de Montaigne says, “The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.

 

The most beautiful and fulfilling answer to the question of how to cope with loneliness is being a part of something. Whether that something is volunteering in a soup kitchen, a nursing home, a children’s hospital, or an animal shelter, it’s all worth it.

 

There is not a single universal formula on how to deal with loneliness. So instead, think about your hobbies and join local clubs or groups that play instruments, read books, paint, have photography courses, or do anything else you can relate to. Being with like-minded people will make you feel better and happier because it gives you a sense of accomplishment and community.

 

Last but not least, practicing self-care is a must when dealing with feelings of loneliness and seclusion.

 

  • Exercise and daily walks trigger endorphins in your brain, which elevate your mood and make you feel better.
  • Good and healthy food gives your brain the required nutrients, and therefore it’s not recommended to consume lots of sugar, highly processed food, and preservatives.
  • Sleeping better can affect your emotional health, so poor sleeping habits can worsen feelings of isolation and loneliness. Additionally, consume less caffeine and sugar right before bedtime and drink more water.

 

Besides exercise, good food, good sleep, and going out, self-care is also about turning back to your most genuine passions. These might include cinema, art, gardening, or whatever else you feel drawn to.

 

At the end of the day, loneliness doesn’t mean surrounding yourself with lots of people. It means enjoying your own company and feeling fulfilled with no need for external endorsement.

 

lonely at home

Dealing with Loneliness After a Breakup

 

Breakups are one of the most common reasons for feeling profound and sometimes even devastating loneliness, regardless of whether the separation was mutually consensual or ended badly.

 

If you ask yourself how to deal with loneliness after a breakup, well, it’s not easy. When you used to spend a lot of time with just one person, and now you don’t get to do this anymore, you might feel stuck and almost lost.

 

Overcoming that feeling of emptiness and learning to once again rely on your inner resources is the first step of how to combat loneliness when single.

 

The best remedies are going for a walk, spending time in nature, reading good books, or spending time with friends. You can add praying (if you are religious), painting or doing a puzzle, picking up a sport, or just focusing on a hobby you’ve been ignoring until now.

 

There is no easy trick that will immediately lift the weight from your shoulders, but you can gradually make things better by empowering yourself to be self-sufficient and ultimately free.

 

Being The Third Wheel in a Relationship

 

When it comes to relationships, there aren’t only two people in a couple but three. The third one is the relationship itself.

 

It would be best if you nurtured not only your partner’s needs but also yours and the relationship’s. A relationship is an entity on its own, and it needs care.

 

Prioritize your needs without being too self-centered, and then move on to those of your partner. If you don’t know how to take care of yourself, then it’s likely that the relationship might deteriorate.

 

Such advice is good to be given, especially when you are fresh out of a relationship and relearning how to be your best self again. Loneliness is not only a terrible feeling but also something that teaches and opens up a new chapter of our lives.

 

It’s a way to check in with ourselves and learn how to be on our own in order to heal and move on. The answer to the question of how to deal with loneliness is sometimes right in front of us, and sometimes we need professional help to find it.

 

Remember that loneliness is not here to stay, and it will pass. Good times are around the corner, and all you need to do is keep the journey going.

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